Are we happy with ourselves, life, and surroundings? I believe finding yourself is an imperative recommendation. At a young age we were shadowing our parents or guardians, eventually branching out on our own and learning how to make decisions for ourselves. In the midst of shadowing we were raised based on their beliefs, culture and morals. They are a big part of who we are today. They provide us with tools that help us strengthen our personality, by observing some struggles, sacrifices and caring. These are life experiences that will continually be part of our journey. However, when do we begin our independence and finding ourselves? When do we stop being our parents, guardians or anyone else’s shadow and find our true selves?
We live in a world where we interact with individuals who have different personalities, which leads us to adapt ourselves in order to function without chaos. As a result, we become adapters and our voices become translucent or, eventually, disappear. Where did the self lost began to diminished? At a young age our voice was tamed in order to be respectful to our elder. Our behaviors with friends are molded because we want to be accepted. Our behaviors with spouses/partners are cautious in order to cohabitate Our attitudes with supervisors are carefully presented in order to be subordinate. These behaviors can lead us to lose of our own identity or voice, which unconsciously affects every aspect of our lives. This is when we should take control and change. We must choose what is right for us before our identity completely disappear.
I know you are saying to yourself “choose?”!! How can we choose if we have no idea who we are or our lost identity. Society presents different models hoping we would follow. However, we need to stop searching everywhere and start looking within ourselves. Start questioning your “love, wants and needs.” Ask yourself, “What makes me happy?” Don’t be afraid of your own voice or your intuition because it knows your desire, your wants and needs.
It is time to put “you” first and not worry or be afraid to seek your needs without feeling guilty about others feelings and/or approvals. Accepting who you are and not trying to be accepted by others is a start on finding self. This is your moment to seek understanding about yourself and become your own individual. You have to let go the need to be loved by all. Learning to rely on yourself. Try to immerse yourself in solitude without being afraid of your inner voice. Becoming your own individual will help you individualize yourself from others. Give services to other people and to the community. This is the ultimate way to find purpose and sense of your place in the world. This is the beginning of starting loving yourself all over again.
Going through this journey can be and will be frustrating and scary, because it is a transition. No one likes transitions. However, if you learned to adapt yourself to this life that you dislike or may not be contain with, then you will adapt yourself to this new transition, because the greatest final result will be “Finding you!”
Staying true within your self will bring peace, stronger love and happiness in your life. You will be mentally, emotionally and spiritually grounded.
Finding your self is a beginning to a new journey. You may look like any ordinary person but you are your own person which defines you. Like a pomegranate it may looks like and apple but the inside defines the fruit because it is full of diverse flavors. Embrace the challenge and the changes. Now, the question of the day is are you ready to find/refined yourself?
Marjory F. @Fruit4thought